After repeatedly trying to connect schedules with some people today I decided I’m done with scheduled friendship! Friendship is neither scheduled nor file-able! Friendship should be raw and real, at times messy and unplanned. It should be spontaneous and fun. Somewhere along the way we started scheduling not only our kids play dates but our own. I don’t want to be your scheduled playdate! I want to be a part of your life! If that means you call me ugly crying so heavily I can’t understand an effing word then I will come bearing wine/vodka/coffee/tea/non-alcoholic Budweiser with clam or wheat-free baking- just in case- and figure out what the f*** you’re saying. My kids will be trailing behind me cuz that’s REAL LIFE with kids. I want to do activities that include my children. I have tons of stuff on the “get a sitter” list- I want friendship to be a kid-friendly zone. That being said I want sister time too- those moments can be snuck in wherever and/or planned out thoroughly. We can find genius activities to occupy our mini tribe and go drown ourselves in raw and real soul-food in the form of communication-without-interruption. The point being is I don’t want friendship to fit nicely in a box up on the shelf to be taken down and played with and then returned to the confines. I want to be a part of your life.
When you get a new job I want you to call me and yell in my ear or stop by and we can celebrate for REAL. I don’t want to be your Facebook like- I want to be a part of your life. When you have a holiday, I would like to vacation with you. When you don’t know what to cook I want to cook with you, when you don’t want to ‘adult’ I want to crawl into bed/fort/tent/ trailer and hide with you. Life is messy. I want to be messy with you.
I remember as friends got married along the way I’d think to call them and this voice
(my mother’s voice) would say “she’s married now” and I wouldn’t call them- to respect the boundaries of marriage or some nonsense….What about the boundaries of friendship? She was probably mine first. (Except Tracy-she was definitely yours first Mike). But honestly I’ve always obeyed the unwritten Rules of Marriage, I say obeyed because I followed them like a robot. I never respected them they were always stupid! Does everyone do this? Or was it just my mother that drilled these rules and boundaries into my head? Because I have new rules: respect AND obey myself at all times!! If I need a friend I’m going to call the one I need- if she says “I’m sorry I’m busy worshiping my husband or partner” I’ll know my mother was right but if she says “sorry I can’t” or “yes of course” I will know I honoured myself!